“I am a mother and mothers don’t have the luxury of falling apart in front of their children, even when they are afraid, even when their children are adults.” – Kristin Hannah, The Nightingale
Being a mother is hard work! It’s a 24/7 job that’s also stressful and physically demanding, which is why I avoided it. Not every woman is cut out to have a child although for some it will always be a rewarding part of the life experience. Most of my women friends are mothers to adult children and often when they reflect on the lives of their offspring it is with a mixture of pride, wonder, and relief! Pride because their children have not disappointed them; wonder at the time defying swiftness of the journey from infancy to adulthood; relief because the days of nappy changing, sleepless nights, sore nipples from breast feeding, and cleaning up baby vomit are finally over!
There is no road map on how to be a good mother and no matter how much well-meaning advice is dispensed by family or friends, it is something that every woman must work out for herself. So, my Mothering Sunday message to all women is enjoy the day. If your family insist you stay in bed while they cook the breakfast, then let them get on with it! If your husband/partner showers you with flowers or gifts in gratitude for everything you do, don’t complain. You’ve earned it! The days when mothers dutifully sat around a hearth reading homilies to their adoring children, are long gone. Today’s mothers are like navigators, steering both themselves and their children through life’s many and varied complexities. For every triumph there will be setbacks along with criticism for even the smallest mistakes, although that’s no reason to give up. Take it on the chin and keep on doing your best.
All of which leads me to my personal selection of Mother’s Day books. You might not agree with my choice, but that’s okay as the world would be a boring place if there was no room for dissent. The books I have chosen reflect different shades of the mothering experience: the working-class mum battling middle-class snobbery; the career mother who trusts fatally; the mother struggling to hold things together during a divorce; the mum whose world is undermined by a single mistake; and the abandoned wife who takes exquisite revenge on a cruel, faithless husband.
Happy Mother’s Day to every one of you!
The School Gate Survival Guide (Also published as The Not So Perfect Mum on Kindle) by Kerry Fisher.
This delicious comedy of social manners sees a working-class mum thrown into the world of the affluent middle classes. Maia Etxeleku earns a living cleaning the houses of “posh women” for whom a full-on day is lunch with the girls, maxing out their husbands’ credit cards, or stopping off at the hair salon to get their highlights touched up. All she wants is a better life for herself and her two kids although she doesn’t know how to go about getting it while her partner Colin, the children’s father, is a work-shy slob incapable of generating an original idea! Maia’s life unexpectedly changes when a client leaves her an inheritance with strings attached and soon she is catapulted into a world of Kumon math classes, organic food, and a culture of hot housing children for Oxbridge! Head spinning doesn’t cover it but somehow Maia survives without losing her integrity or humour. The School Gate Survival Guide is an easy Sunday afternoon read that will leave you rooting for Maia while giving a massive thumbs down to her snooty neighbours…. especially the obnoxious Jen1!
After the Lie by Kerry Fisher
Kerry Fisher explores the emotions of a woman haunted by the teenage mistake that has shadowed her life. Lydia Rashford is forty-three, married with two children, and the owner of a thriving wedding planning business. On the surface she is a success, but for thirty years Lydia has been hiding a secret and the pressure is taking its toll. How much longer can she keep it under wraps, especially when the source of her unease moves into her neighbourhood? After the Lie is an exploration of one woman’s guilt, her relationship with her mother (who gets a buzz from making her daughter feel bad about herself even when she’s done nothing wrong), the temptations of adultery, and what happens when the past is finally left where it belongs.
One Little Mistake by Emma Curtis
For those who enjoy delving into the dark side of middle-class family life, then you couldn’t have a better guide than Emma Curtis. One Little Mistake is a hard-edged psychological novel that subtly questions the rush to judgement when a mother break’s one of the golden rules of parenting: never leave a child alone in the house! That’s what Vicky Seagrave does although in fairness it was a one-off. Society rarely forgives such a transgression, even when there’s a reasonable explanation. Although her baby was unharmed after an intruder broke into her home, Vicky still faces some awkward questions and tries to lie her way out of trouble. She also makes the big mistake of confiding the truth to her best friend Amber, who manipulates Vicky’s guilt to take control of her home and marriage! One Little Mistake is a disturbing novel that will resonate with anyone who reads it.
Lullaby (Also published in the United States as The Perfect Nanny) by Leila Slimani
After giving birth to her two children, French Moroccan lawyer Myriam decides to go back to work. She and husband Paul think they’ve struck gold when they hire nanny Louise to look after their toddlers. Louise is organised, runs the household with clockwork efficiency, and gets on well with the children. Small wonder the couple (almost) come to regard her as part of their family although what they don’t realise, until it’s too late, is that Louise is an emotionally unstable woman whose mind will come apart in a shocking act of violence. Lullaby is an unsettling novel that explores issues around mental illness; the rights, wrongs, or otherwise of paying strangers to look after children; the exploitative nature of the parent/nanny relationship; and the female dilemma of giving up a career to start a family, or having children and going back to work. Was Myriam selfish in wanting to “have it all”, and does that make her partly responsible for what happened? The perfect nanny does not exist!
Axioms by Sheila Macleod
Axioms is not a feel-good book, although that doesn’t take away from the grittiness of the narrative or the authenticity of the characters. Most women will probably empathise with Claudia, the main protagonist, who struggles to hold herself and her family together while going through a divorce. Although the husband doesn’t loom large in the story, Macleod drops enough clues for the reader to work out the kind of man he is and it isn’t flattering! What makes this book so readable is the power of the drama and the effectiveness of its structure. Claudia’s frayed emotions are explored via the third person mechanism, while the voice of her teenage daughter rings loud and raw with its alternative view of events. The girl and her brother are clearly damaged and there’s no escaping the sense that Claudia doesn’t realise how deeply they’ve been affected by the domestic breakdown. Can she turn their lives around while repairing her own? Or is too late?
More Than You’ll Ever Know by Katie Gutierrez
This humdinger of a book has got everybody talking! Lore is a successful career woman who lives in Texas with husband Fabian and their twin sons, who she absolutely adores. But what Fabian doesn’t know is that his attractive, talented wife is also a bigamist! During a work trip to Mexico, Lore meets and falls in love with Andres who she later marries. How she manages to pull off a double life without either man being aware of the other’s existence, is nothing short of a miracle although her luck does run out. When Fabian uncovers his wife’s deceit, he murders Andres and is jailed for the killing. Journalist and true crime fan Cassie Bowman later takes up the story only to discover that everything about the case is not as clear as it might at first seem!
The Life and Loves of a She Devil by Fay Weldon
Why is it that I can never stop smiling whenever I read this book? Probably because it’s smart, funny, imaginative, and very satisfying! Revenge is a dish best served cold and Ruth Pratchett, the tall, unattractive protagonist, dishes it out with style! At the beginning of the novel, Ruth is an acquiescent suburban housewife striving to please her selfish, ungrateful husband. But she undergoes a formidable personality change when he drops her for wealthy, glamorous, romantic novelist Mary Fisher. Abandoned and alone with their kids, Ruth connects with her inner demon and plots the ultimate revenge. First, she burns down the family home and after dumping the children on their father, sets about wrecking both his life and Mary Fisher’s. Machiavelli is an amateur compared to Ruth Pratchett!
Why not go to our book recommendations and check out our favourite picks for Mother’s Day 2024? Happy reading.
